Morning Meditation Reminder: A time to grow!
Please excuse the stream of consciousness, the inside yoga jokes, and a bit of levity with much needed profanity. I laughed out loud during my meditation today. I’m pretty sure that I looked like a lunatic. Luckily my Buddha isn’t judgey.
Most of you who know me know that I’m a pretty calm, Kapha gal (actually Kapha/Pitta right down the middle on every quiz, but whatever) But I have to admit, amidst all this challenge, I was not my calmest self. In fact, I totally freaked out when this all happened. All of my attachments came right to the surface! The biggest attachment I have outside of my beautiful family and friends, is the Tula Kula (our community of the heart). I saw Tula, something that I work so hard for and love so much, evaporating right in front of me – all with the words, COVID-19. I catastrophized, I cried, I got mad, I got depressed, I said Fuck It, I said Fuck You, then I did some anger work, Ashley Turner Style, and the list of emotions goes on and on… all of that in the span of about 72 hours.
What can I say? I’m a bit of an overachiever.
But like everything (thankfully) nothing lasts forever (just like plank pose – those of you who take my class know). The calm came back (mostly) and I started to direct my energy to work, but specifically, working my dharma. What is my path, why do I do this work, what is this seemingly insane reaction trying to teach me about myself? What is this pandemic trying to teach me about my place in the world? You know, all really big shit! Right?
Well, what I am (re)discovering (or better said, what is continually whacking me over the head) is what Yoga has relentlessly taught me all along: the dark exists to show you where the light is. I feel like Patanjali just rolled his eyes and said, “rookie” Ha! Because, that has been one of the biggest lessons this practice has been trying to teach me for the past 4 years as I ride the business rollercoaster. News flash! Anyone who owns a fitness/yoga biz knows how hard it can be to convince people to be good to themselves – and if you are a yoga business, you can’t really “convince” people. With yoga, you have to take your own journey, on your own, when you are ready, at the right time, in your own way, when the teacher appears etc…. etc. You see?
But I digress. There is a sum up here that makes me think of a Pema Chodron quote. She says:
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know” WHY IN THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO BE TRUE!?! DAAAAMMMMIITTTT!
Well, she actually has one I like a bit better: “Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look.”― Pema Chödrön, When things fall apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times.
The sum up part 2: Try not to let your attachment to the lows or the highs pull you from the light – the lows and the highs don’t give light or take it away. The light is there regardless of the circumstance, and the light is all you need. Well, sometimes you need money and food, but usually that stuff gets worked out if you stay the course.
So, perfect! It’s all wrapped up right? Pandemic, no pandemic – I’ll just be here sticking with my light…
Ummmm… not exactly. Just doing that would be a bit naïve and ill advised. In fact, I’m not just sticking with my light, I’m staring at my shit. Yep, I’m taking a good look and trying not to be squeamish… and well, you can imagine. I’m also planning, brainstorming, and making some decisions.
Here is what has come out of that so far:
1. We are not going anywhere, so everyone “settle down”. Mainly me.
2. We will all be together in the studio soon, sweating and cursing Leslie Whitecrow for challenging us to be better yogis, or wanting to hug Story Gilmore because of some wonderful insight she shared, and well, you just want to hug her! Its ok Leslie, we want to hug you too, but we are so damn sweaty for Shiva’s sake! We are all longing for a wonderful Savasana assist and lovely mantra to the harmonium from Sona Desai Buchanan, and we will soon know the precarious drive home after being blissed the “F” out at Yin with Dejia Chantell Burdick (her words, not mine). We will challenge the Yoga status quo with Laura Anderson as we laugh at her jokes (upside-down), or wonder how Kat Selvocki can make us work so hard in such a sneaky way? How does she do that? I still have no idea. And where did this Ashley Lynn Hastings come from? Wow! Just wow! Kara OToole‘s grace and thoughtful approach will still remind us of all the dimensions a yoga practice can take, and Jess Stokes‘s beautiful smile will be back for Happy Hour…and by happy hour, we mean yoga people, not beer. And no, the brewery is not going to be open anytime soon, so please stop asking; and we will all wrap our arms around our newest teacher Devon Watson, as she gets to know us and we get to know her.
3. See, it’s the light. It’s everywhere. You just have to look… online. Its virtual, live streaming yoga classes, stop coming to the studio hoping we will let you in, we won’t. Go online because that’s where the yoga is right now. Seriously. And no, it’s not free, because we are trying to stay in business and keep people working. Please sign up an hour in advance because we all secretly wonder if Shellsea Gibbs actually ever gets mad, but we shouldn’t test her. She is as sweet as they come, but she is also tall, so sign up early. By the way, isn’t she just the best?
And if you haven’t taken a class with us online yet, its AWESOME! Just a $10 drop in for a bit of bliss in the comfort of your home!